The Truth about Goats
In one of the great mistrials of the century, the moody singer has been wrongly imprisoned for his role in the arrest and torture of protesters. Through a clerical error, an Egyptian court has sentenced Morrissey, while freeing ousted President Mohammed Morsi to finish his tour with a Smiths tribute band.
Supporters of the Indie Rocker have expressed outrage that he has been accused of terrorism, espionage and acts of extreme vegetarianism. One fan complained: ‘My icon will spend two decades in a Cairo jail, where ironically every day is like Sunday.’
Meanwhile ex-President Morsi plans to enjoy life on music circuit, playing various hits from his days in the Muslim Brotherhood. These will include lyrically challenging songs about angst within Hamas, the loneliness of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard and the hanging of protestors instead of DJ’s.
Egyptian police continue to arrest thousands, while Morsi has been forced to adopt a quiff and a baritone voice. Friends say he will struggle with portraying Lancashire nihilism but he does share Morrissey’s view that Margaret Thatcher was an extremist. One judge defended their error: ‘Morsi will find that prison would have been less painful than life as a Morrissey impersonator. He may have hated jail but heaven knows he’s miserable now’.