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Jedis still outnumber Nuns


Despite reaching a 25 year recruitment high, sadly 45 Nuns are somewhat dwarfed by the several hundred thousand UK citizens declaring their commitment to the Force in the 2011 census. Women are still statistically a 100,000 times more likely to marry a non-deity, even including Russell Brand.

The Force is strong in this one

The Force is strong in this one

Admittedly the lifestyle of a nun can be gruelling, with their commitment to chastity and singing up mountains. By contrast being a Jedi offers a range of perks; including force manipulation, towelling dressing gowns and the opportunity to snog your own sister.

Many have attributed this recent rise in nun numbers to either women’s renewed faith in Jesus or their disillusionment with ITV’s ‘Loose Women’. The most significant positive in this small rise, is that the Catholic Church is one step closer to forming its own all-female five-a-side football mini league.

Of course some fear that the two contrasting callings may come to blows. A spokeswoman for the Jedi Council said: ‘While the Pope may frown upon the artificial insemination techniques used in the evolution of Storm Troopers, we are both fundamentally religions of peace. And the bottom line is, if it comes to a fight, let’s see how the penguins cope against light sabres’.

by @Wrenfoe

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This entry was posted on May 19, 2015 by in UK Local News and tagged , , , , .

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