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England, Northern Ireland and Wales cedes to Scotland

Following frank and open discussions between David Cameron and the SNP Leader, Nicola Sturgeon, it has been agreed that Britain will be dismantled and absorbed into a devolved Scotland. The Prime Minister stressed that this would allow him to maintain his commitment to keeping the UK together but also honouring his pledge for a more independent Scotland.

The heart of Scotland

The heart of Scotland

Initially the SNP had argued that their power base should be in Edinburgh; but having seen the sights of London, it was agreed a venue ‘in the Westminster area’ would be ideal. An SNP spokesman said: ‘Obviously, any rebranding of Scotland needs to reflect these newly acquired regions and our ties to the monarchy. Some kind of Kingdom, maybe? A United one?’

A spokeswoman for the Prime Minister explained: ‘The all-party Smith agreement will make Scotland the most powerful devolved parliament in the world; and quite frankly we want to be part of that. North of the border they have a strong majority, a landscape brimming with huntable wildlife and not a Labour MP in sight. Why wouldn’t Mr. Cameron want to join?’

Ms. Sturgeon cautiously welcomed the changes but admitted that there would be some challenges in ruling such a large country. Her spokesman said: ‘Yes it will good to have full fiscal autonomy, but not all the liabilities. What about this area north of Carlisle? It seems terribly cold and wet. I also hear that it has high rates of premature mortality, a pension timebomb and only one good football team. Can’t we just get rid of that bit and keep the rest?’

2 comments on “England, Northern Ireland and Wales cedes to Scotland

  1. Aniallator22
    May 21, 2015

    “Some kind of Kingdom, maybe? A United one?'” Haha, bravo.


  2. Wrenfoe
    May 21, 2015



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This entry was posted on May 21, 2015 by in UK News and tagged , , , , , .

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