The Truth about Goats
A sheepish Prime Minister has returned to Downing Street, from his EU ‘whistle-stop’ tour, with what can only be described as a bad case of sunstroke and a ‘mysterious rash’. What should have been a fun filled jaunt to the continent with ‘my mate George’, has turned into a holiday of regret, thwarted free market romance and pockets of worthless Euros.
Originally Mr. Cameron had promised to conquer Europe, or at least drink it dry, with the mantra: ‘What goes on at G7 meetings, stays at G7 meetings’. Unfortunately, after a night of ‘jager bombs’ with Francois Hollande, all he has returned with is a condiment donkey, a sombrero and a henna tattoo.
A spokesman for Mr. Cameron denied that the Prime Minister had been caught, in the early hours, brawling in the streets of Berlin with Angela Merkel. However, the spokesman admitted: ‘The image of the Brit abroad has not been helped by Mr. Cameron refusing to speak the language and insisting on chips with every meal’.
Returning on a budget airline, the Prime Minister was met by his concerned mother at Gatwick. Having scolded him about his debauched appearance, burning on urination and lack of treaty concessions – Mrs Cameron (aged 81) is alleged to have told him: ‘Next year its backpacking around the Lake District with Eric Pickles. That George is a bad influence – quaffing cheap ouzo with his banking chums. Tish and pish – remember what tombstoning did to the Greek economy!’