The Truth about Goats
The supermodel and infamous supporter of Columbian farming, has been escorted off an EasyJet plane, having been caught imitating a Burberry bag. With a waif-like physique, Mrs Moss managed to avoid detection for several hours and was only spotted when she was overheard complaining: ‘Nothing tastes as good as thin feels, but nothing feels as thin as the leg room on this flight!’
Despite estimated to be worth £45 million, Mrs Moss often saves on travel expenses by camouflaging herself among an assistant’s luggage. Many supermodels avoid paying for services by using their skeletal frame; for instance, Gisele Bundchen only sends herself via airmail, Kate Upton hides in glove compartments and, when cornered, Hilary Rhoda just turns sideways to avoid detection.
Although technically lighter than ‘a bag of marshmallows’, Mrs Moss is substantially larger than the 56 x 45 x 25cm permitted. One flight attendant revealed: ‘Our suspicions were aroused when we noticed various spindly limbs poking out of the overhead locker space. Initially we thought it was some loose straw, but then we realised it wasn’t just Worzel Gummidge with septal perforation – it was Mrs Moss’.
Having failed to blend in with other designer luggage, Mrs Moss reportedly became disruptive hurling celery at staff. Police met flight EZY2232 and issued a statement: ‘We can confirm that a tartan-clad stick-woman was removed. Unsettled passengers first reported what they thought was a discarded Bay City Rollers scarf ‘with legs’. We are also appealing for the information about the whereabouts of Cara Delevingne, who was last seen in lost luggage a fortnight ago’.