The Truth about Goats
Rachel Dolezal attempted to defuse the controversy related to her ethnic identity, by releasing membership data that suggests the civil rights group had solely been comprised of ‘white guys in disguise’ since the mid-60s. The president of the Spokane chapter further claimed that the moon landings were faked, Elvis is alive and that the NRA have no bullets.
A spokesman for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People explained: ‘Basically by .65 we’d advanced colored people as far as we could. We’d got the Voting Rights Act, knee length flared dresses and James Brown was developing funk – so what was point? Yeah, yeah I know there are still problems about health care, education and criminal justice – but Disney had already resolved the black/white issue in .61 with ‘One Hundred and One Dalmatians’.’
Mrs Dolezal’s own biological parents have suggested she may have failed to be ‘whiter than white’ in her membership application. However, this has opened a wider debate on the authenticity of other pressure groups. One Ku Klux Klan member confessed: ‘Jeez, the reason we’ve been wearing these hoods is that most of us are from Puerto Rico. We don’t really endorse the race hate element but it was the easiest way to fit in’.
Remaining NAACP have now been outed, leaving the group with one legitimate member – Padraig Mullins; whose bright ginger hair is technically a disenfranchised colour. One UK voter laughed off this state-side confusion: ‘It’s a bizarre situation. It would be as if the Labour Party was suddenly taken over by privately educated, wealthy, right-wingers …oh, I see…um…’