Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Swinger’s festival uses loud music to drown out bonking noises‏

Despite complaints from local residents about noise levels, organisers of ‘Swingfields’ have insisted that their blaring disco music was better than the sound of ‘constant squelching’. In fact, the weekend event at the Forest of Dean has already gained notoriety for scaring woodland animals with the sights of bondage, fetish equipment and one ‘abused looking goat’.

Cover your ears and your eyes!

Cover your ears and your eyes!

Event organisers have gone to great lengths to protect innocent bystanders from a cacophony of copulation. One regular attendee said: ‘Do you know the decibels caused by a hundred condoms being twanged simultaneously? Thousands of flicked nipples can be deafening. And the collective sound of dozens of faked orgasms is ear-splitting – but convincing.’

‘Swingfields’ has also experimented in erecting wooden fencing to hide views of wooden erections. Interestingly, revellers at this year’s Glastonbury were forced to use the sound of ‘bad-sex’ to drown out Kanye West; who ironically uses the sound of his ‘bad-music’ to drown out any sense of self- doubt he might have.

One disturbed villager commented: ‘I object strongly to the use of loud music – it disrupts the sounds of nature. And by that, I mean the sound of leather on buttock, clamp on testicle and lube on chaffed privates’. Organisers have promised to use more natural alternatives to mask next year’s event; substituting the sound of thousands people being shafted, with the sound of ‘the Greek economy collapsing’.


2 comments on “Swinger’s festival uses loud music to drown out bonking noises‏

  1. Ken Dowell
    July 16, 2015

    This is hilarious. Needs a soundtrack.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on July 16, 2015 by in UK Local News and tagged , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 570 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 37,690 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: