Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Bill Cosby more ‘threatening’ than your average Sommelier

Despite rigorous denials of any wrong-doing, lawyers for Mr. Cosby have been forced to concede that he invariably mixed red wine with fish, over-poured champagne and mistook Rohypnol for a bowl of olives. Accusations that the stand-up comedian bullied and abused others is not dissimilar to most wine stewards, but only he had a ‘special’ corkage fee.

You are feeling sleepy

You are feeling sleepy

Mr. Cosby’s lawyers asserted that he never mistook Dom Ruinart for a Blanc de Noirs rather than a Blanc de Blancs, but may have been a bit ‘fuzzy’ on the whole consensual issue. Mr. Cosby also had a reputation for making a cocktail more soporific than Tom Cruise’s dire 80’s rom-com. One sommelier offered a few tips for wine tasters: ‘Red shouldn’t taste fizzy and white shouldn’t have a flavour of Ketamine’.

Mr. Cosby admitted to having never studied viticulture, but having spent many years as a television doctor, he felt qualified to administer pills. One restaurant critic suggested: ‘Trust your palate. If after a few sips, you wake up in a state of undress – it’s probably corked. And if a strange man offers you his fermented grape juice, at least read the label first’.

Many of the accusations directed at Mr. Cosby’s fall outside the statutes of limitations, which is ironic given that most wines and litigations increase in value over time. One female diner commented: ‘Drowsiness has often been a side-effect of watching Mr. Cosby on television but I would also be wary of joining him for a meal. If he asks – ‘What goes with well with pudding?’ – don’t be tricked into buying his over-priced dessert wine or 5 ccs of Cherry Meth, just get the bill and run for a taxi’.

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on July 30, 2015 by in International Crime and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,448 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 44,863 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2019

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: