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The Truth about Goats

Son of Zeus confesses to lion killing


Amid the controversy surrounding the killing of ‘Cecil’ the lion, the focus has now switched from a US poacher with a dental license, to ‘some naked dude’ without a hunting license. Zimbabwean officials have accused a Mr. Hercules of using his gnarled club to kill both a lion and a hydra – all while having his ‘junk on display’.

Cover it up!

Cover it up!

In his defence, the divine hero has said that the fault lies with King Eurystheus, who had dared him to complete a series of tasks after one particularly long ‘ouzo session’. Speaking to the press Hercules sheepishly defended his conservationist credentials, while standing on a pile of dead mythical creatures from the Harry Potter franchise.

RSPC Inspectors recently found numerous captured animals living in cramped conditions in Mr. Hercules’ house; including a boar, a bull and a ‘clearly inbreed’ three-headed dog.. One Zimbabwe game warder said: ‘Trophy hunting is permitted but wearing the lion’s skin is f@#ked up. Surely there are cheaper clothing alternatives for chunky men – hasn’t he heard of Jacomo?’

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This entry was posted on August 12, 2015 by in International Environmental and tagged , , , , , .

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