The Truth about Goats
Amid the controversy surrounding the killing of ‘Cecil’ the lion, the focus has now switched from a US poacher with a dental license, to ‘some naked dude’ without a hunting license. Zimbabwean officials have accused a Mr. Hercules of using his gnarled club to kill both a lion and a hydra – all while having his ‘junk on display’.
In his defence, the divine hero has said that the fault lies with King Eurystheus, who had dared him to complete a series of tasks after one particularly long ‘ouzo session’. Speaking to the press Hercules sheepishly defended his conservationist credentials, while standing on a pile of dead mythical creatures from the Harry Potter franchise.
RSPC Inspectors recently found numerous captured animals living in cramped conditions in Mr. Hercules’ house; including a boar, a bull and a ‘clearly inbreed’ three-headed dog.. One Zimbabwe game warder said: ‘Trophy hunting is permitted but wearing the lion’s skin is f@#ked up. Surely there are cheaper clothing alternatives for chunky men – hasn’t he heard of Jacomo?’