The Truth about Goats
In an open letter to the Royal Family, the world’s collective paparazzi have demanded that the Royal Prince stop ruining their attempts to photograph London’s landscapes. The camera obsessed child has repeatedly interrupted journalists, demanding they capture shots of his aristocratic profile, his ‘new gym bod’ and telling them to ‘hit like’ if they think he’s sexy.
One editor explained: ‘We’d recently started an editorial entitled ‘nannies go walkabout’, but these images were constantly ruined by some chubby toddler getting in the way. They always say the most dangerous place in the world is between a Kardashian and a camera but Georgey boy is far more voracious’.
Palace insiders have appealed to foreign tabloids to stop pandering to the ‘little media whore’. Allegedly the young Prince has posed for more half naked photos than Miley Cyrus. Reports claim he runs around Sandringham waving a selfie stick, pouting at his reflection in the family silverware and tweeting about himself on #RichKidsOfInstagram.
George will do anything to remain in the media spotlight, including posing with an incontinent Princess. He has also threatened to ‘break the internet’ with close-ups of a ‘cuddle pic’ with the Duchess of Cambridge’s ‘fun bags’. Also, like any two year old, George knows – what’s the point of temper tantrum if there’s nobody around to witness it?