The Truth about Goats
Having admitted to using ‘fake’ stories to support their Benefit cuts, the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has confessed to having fabricated an entire Minister. For the last six years a glove puppet called ‘IDS’ has been used as ‘a front’ for a raft of ridiculous policies; including selling the poor for scrap, burning witches and ‘the bedroom tax’.
Claims that Mr. Smith was loosely based on a Dickensian character has been refuted. Yet a Freedom of Information request, by website Welfare Weekly, has revealed that the ‘fake’ MP was a deliberate composite of Idi Amin and a brussel sprout. A DWP spokeswoman admitted: ‘Frankly we were surprised that anyone was fooled by this badly drawn pantomime villain, but I guess that’s why people like Simon Cowell’.
Of course this is not the first time a branch of Government has been concocted; the entire Coalition Years were simply one of Paddy Ashdown’s more vivid ‘cheese dreams’. Fears have grown about the authenticity of other prominent politicians; with questions asked about Boris Johnson’s hair, George Osborne’s soul and the ‘existence of an actual opposition party’.
The DWP have said that Mr. Smith was only intended for ‘illustrative purposes’, to show what real moron ‘might be like’. The fact that Mr. Smith did not exist, does not invalidate this simulation in incompetence. The spokeswoman said: ‘We will continue to cut down on bogus claimants and asylum seekers, as soon as we have made some up to cut’.