Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Chinese economy to become largest online betting site

Betfair, Paddy Power and ‘all our pension funds’ are set to merge into the world’s most irresponsible gambling company – China™. Punters will be able to speculate 24/7 on fickle share prices, cocaine fueled investment analysts and the ‘three-thirty at Newmarket’.

Betting the world's economy on red

Betting the world’s economy on red

The Shanghai Composite has already fallen 16% in week, due to an accumulator bet involving the success of three rank-outsiders – Jeremy Corbyn, Leicester City FC and ‘peace with Iran’. One excited gambler said: ‘It’s a real adrenaline rush, betting my mortgage on everyone else’s mortgage. And for once, the odds are really stacked against the banker’.

China’s central bank has agreed to cut the key lending rate and accept 20-1 odds on Arsenal winning the Premiership. Elsewhere in Asia, the news caused a drop in Japan’s Nikkei, South Korea’s Kospi and ‘all hope for the future’. A Beijing official said: ‘There is no cause for alarm – the Chinese economy has been around for three thousand years. The Ancient Egyptians don’t have a monopoly on pyramid schemes you know’.

The deal eclipses last year’s merger between Ladbrokes and the Royal Bank of Scotland. Paddy Power and Betfair investors will retain a controlling stake in the business, while the remaining shares will be held by the Illuminati, Donald Trump and John McCririck. Existing shareholders will receive a special dividend of half the world’s economy or Simon Cowell’s wallet – whichever is bigger.


Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on September 9, 2015 by in International Business and tagged , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 585 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 38,682 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: