The Truth about Goats
Now that America’s premier lifestyle ‘guru’ has sewn up the 2020 Presidential Election, Hilary Clinton has told friends that she has lost all political aspiration and any hope to ‘duet RiRi’. Hilary bumper-stickers are already being removed, along with issues of her new rap album and her campaign has been forced to recall a range of diamante, Louis Vuitton, crotchless pants.
Like most politicians, Mr. West declared his candidacy at the MTV Video Music Awards. In some ways it had echoes of JFK’s speech at the Rathaus Schöneberg or Bon Jovi’s fateful attempt to run for the New Jersey’s school board. Mrs Clinton’s slogan ‘It’s your time’ is set to be eclipsed by Mr. West’s positive message ‘I’m ‘bout to wild the f**k out’. Most agree that his route to the Whitehouse is inevitable, as is his eventual transcendence from the material world and return to the mothership.
While Mrs. Clinton is Secretary of State, she ultimately lacks Mr. West’s appreciation of nuanced foreign diplomacy and Taylor Swift videos. Sadly the former senator is set to retreat into political obscurity or ‘stay married to Bill’ as it is known. Meanwhile Mr. West has promised to unite America with the message: ‘I keep it 300, like Romans, 300 bitches, where’s the Trojans?’.
One political commentator said: ‘Mr. West is very good at attracting votes. Although that is mainly to get him banned from Glastonbury. And not many people have managed to annoy Presidents of both parties’. A spokesmen for Mr. West responded: ‘Hilary may have been a bit presumptuous, who said Mr. West is a Democrat? He’s an insane megalomaniac, attached to an overblown ass – remind you of anyone, Mr. Trump?