Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

SNP to replace daylight savings with ‘borrowed time‏’


Scotland’s First Minister has rejected David Cameron’s insistence on a shared British clock and has proposed a move to a system where by the Scots, under cover of darkness, could sneak south of the border to ‘steal the women folk’. Nicola Sturgeon warned the Prime Minister that his days of a united approach to timekeeping were numbered or at the very least ‘moving from imperial to metric’.

Stuck on 10mins to Independence

Stuck on 10mins to Independence

Nicola Sturgeon explained to reporters that ‘borrowed time’ was an equitable combination of more time in bed, Scottish autonomy and ‘welching on your debts’. She said Mr. Cameron must prepare to re-set the independence debate and his alarm clock. The people of Scotland were tired of waking up grumpy and grumpy about waking up tired.

The Prime Minister has told aides that he is concerned that the North of England is vulnerable to attack from the nocturnal Scots. According to the last Tory manifesto: ‘…most Scottish citizens are small mammals adapted to a subterranean lifestyle and who survive on a diet of invertebrates, covered in salt and sauce’. The document goes on to explain that the Scots have polydactyl forepaws and can wreak havoc with your lawn.

Some have expressed concern that if the Scots acquire independence over clocks, that this will be followed by further demands for their own space–time continuum, resulting in a tartan version of The Matrix. A Whitehall spokeswoman said: ‘It’s all a matter of time. And there’s a right time but that time isn’t now. The SNP see it as a race against time, but a week is a long time in politics. And at this moment in time, we have no timetable to review time, we simply don’t have the time’.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on September 24, 2015 by in UK Local News and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 558 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 36,479 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: