Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Neolithic Chilcot Report discovered


Nearly 100,000 pages of monolithic prose have been found buried near Stonehenge, making it the largest monument to landfill in Britain.  This mysterious ruin was concealed under several hundred tonnes of earth, invoices for Iraqi guns and gag orders from solicitors representing Messrs T. Blair & A. Campbell.

3000BC or 45mins from destruction - whatevers shorter

The 4,500-year-old manuscript, was discovered using ground-penetrating radar and from the overwhelming reek of ‘bullsh@t’ emanating from it.  Generations of hippies are expected to make pilgrimages to the area under the banner ‘Make love not war…unless you have a specific 45 minute warning’.  Likewise mystical druidic sites like this have long been the inspiration behind ‘Jethro Tull’ songs; such as ‘Thick as a UN Weapon’s Inspector’ and ‘Skating away on the thin ice of a dodgy dossier’.

Legend says that the Inquiry chair, Sir John Chilcot, tried to look into the UK’s involvement in military action but he and the report were lost in the mists of time; mainly due to the fact he charged by the hour.  Shovel in hand, a spokesman for Tony Blair said: ‘No one knows who buried them; it’s an enigma. But what I can say is that we – I mean they – should dug a little deeper’.

One archaeologist explained: ‘The ancient Druids were a superstitious lot and would often celebrate the Winter solstice by sacrificing a scientist in a woodland grove, white wash his remains and then proceed to bury the bad news with a sprig of holly’.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on October 6, 2015 by in UK News and tagged , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 550 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 35,546 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: