Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Manchester hosts ‘mock interviews’ for next PM


This year’s Conservative Party conference has been replaced with a career’s day for elderly Tory hopefuls, with one eye on a retiring David Cameron.  Despite the Prime Minister having several years of his tenancy left, an unsightly gaggle of MPs bundled the lectern to proclaim their commitment to ending tax credits, foxes and any remaining obstacles to the ‘era of Beelzebub’.

You were shit

You were shit

Various X-factor hopefuls took to the stage with their prepared monologues and songs about the ‘perils of Jeremy Corbyn’. G eorge Osborne wowed the party faithful with a rendition of the ‘boy stood on burning deck’ – a veiled reference to his economic legacy.  While Teresa May kept repeating ‘migrants’ three times and clicking her heels together; in the vain hope of returning to Kansas or at least somewhere with a similar Republican majority.

One career’s advisor gave some interview tips: ‘Candidates should dress smartly and if you’re Boris Johnson do something about that gonk hair-do.  Try to avoid speaking negatively about a past co-worker, even if it is Liam Fox.  Prepare some answers in advance, particularly on why poor people are the root cause of all our problems.  And finally update your resume, to ignore any reference to the fact your share portfolio expanded during the last financial crisis or privatization’.

As David Cameron begins to draw from, what Tory think-tanks promise to be, Britain’s last remaining pension scheme – many on the front bench hope to be his successor.  One Minister said: ‘Obviously Dave is a hard act to follow.  It’s not easy to smile into a camera while withdrawing disability benefits.  It’s like maintaining an erection while looking into the lifeless eyes of a stuffed pig – or Jeremy Hunt as he is known’.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on October 7, 2015 by in UK Politics and tagged , , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 545 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 34,450 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: