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NASA fake water on Mars to help Matt Damon‏

In a blatant example of Hollywood manipulation, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has spent billions of dollars fabricating images of salt deposits just to bump ticket sales for Ridley Scott’s ‘The Martian’. Starring Matt Damon, studio executives were so fearful of a blockbuster flop that they have gone to the elaborate ends of fabricating life on mars and ‘talent’ in Mr. Damon.

The impact left by a Ben Affleck film

The impact left by a Ben Affleck film

There is evidence to suggest that NASA’s fund raising for a manned mission to Mars, was siphoned off to fund Mr. Damon’s movie. Suspicions were first raised when data from orbiting satellites had been altered to spell out the script to ‘Good Will Hunting’. While many remember NASA’s previous false claims of an asteroid crashing into earth destroying all life, as a veiled reference to Ben Affleck’s portrayal of ‘Batman’.

This event has proved more controversial than the faked Moon landings, which were used to promote the product launch of Dove’s ‘Galaxy’ chocolate bar. One conspiracy theorist explained: ‘Images of the Martian landscape are just close up photographs of Ben & Jerry’s ‘Dough-ble Impact’. It’s an obvious case of product placement to promote the cinema concessions stand. All those Mar’s rocks are just popcorn!’

Although NASA admitted to consulting on the film, they were reticent about their role in producing it. A spokesman said: ‘Human colonisation of Mars is the stuff of science fiction, and so is the career of Mr. Damon.  But this isn’t the first time we’ve used technology to counterfeit the improbable you must have noticed Lance Armstrong’s urine samples, Adam Sandler’s popularity or Donald Trump’s election campaign?’

2 comments on “NASA fake water on Mars to help Matt Damon‏

  1. C. Lock
    December 30, 2015

    Is any of the stuff on here even marginally original?


    • Wrenfoe
      December 30, 2015

      No – but it is all originally marginal.


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This entry was posted on October 19, 2015 by in International Science and tagged , , , , , , , .

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