Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

‘Extreme poverty’ unlikely to become an Olympic sport‏

While five new sports, including ‘Sepp Blatter Accounting’, are set to be added to the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, impoverished activities like ‘ultra-privation’ or ‘uber-penury’ are unlikely to make the cut.  In fact, according to the World Bank, participation in ‘extreme poverty’ has fallen below 10%, putting it on par with English rugby as ‘something no one wants to be part of’.


Ministers, having investing a lot of time in not investing in welfare, had hoped a cut to tax credits might inspire a generation of disenfranchised athletes.  However, using the poverty income figure of $1.90 per day, very few Premiership footballers fall into that category.  A spokeswoman for Sports England said: ‘We’re poor but not really poor.  I’m afraid to say that a Syrian orphan has a significant head-start on an obese British toddler.  They’ve got the infrastructure to develop extreme poverty; with craters for pitches and landmines for goalposts’.

Despite other extreme sports having less inherent danger and more expensive specialized gear, Poverty-Max™ has failed to capture the public’s imagination.  In the late 90s there had been a surge in the popularity for urban squalor, with teenagers regularly posting YouTube clips of themselves sleeping rough, eating from bins or wrestling with foxes.  Yet tramp-running, skip-diving and bench-boarding still remain marginal sports.

The spokeswoman explained: ‘In sub-Saharan Africa, they employ rigorous muscle building exercises – like swimming the Mediterranean, dodging mortar fire or carrying their own body weight in rags.  This is supplemented by isotonic ditch water and protein rich mud pies’.  Yet Chancellor George Osborne tried to assure the Conservative conference that Britain would give destitution the global recognition it truly deserves and create a poverty ‘legacy’ far more sustainable than London 2012.

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on October 21, 2015 by in International Sport and tagged , , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,436 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 43,970 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2019

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: