The Truth about Goats
After consulting with 18,000 fans and a copy of ‘100 Top Baby Names’, the Football League has decided to align its brand with the most popular name of 2015. Other frontrunners included Jack, Oliver and the ‘iPhone6’; but in the end they opted for a more inclusive name with a feminizing quality – but not ‘as effeminate as Oscar’.
One FA Official explained: ‘We’d been trawling social media for names that were trending. Bieber was a possibility. IS was top of our list for a long time. And last month we came close to picking ‘The English #DavidCameronF@ckedAPig League’.’
On advice from advertising executives the logo for ‘Amelia’, which was originally a smiling five year-old girl, has now been replaced by a beer-swilling, topless model. Individual league titles such as the Championship will remain, but Conference North & South will now be referred to as ‘The Land that time forgot’.
The Official said: ‘The name ‘Amelia’ says excitement. It also says pushy middle-class parents – which is a demographic we want to reach out to. If we’ve learnt anything from Hull City, it’s that everyone loves a name change. Nobody wants to watch Opal Fruit football but Starburst Soccer sounds amaze-balls!’