The Truth about Goats
The sad news of that star of ‘Anger Management’ was diagnosed with HIV four years ago, has naturally been greeted by an outpouring of empathy and a subliminal sense of ‘we did warn you’. While no one deserves such an illness, there is a feeling of inevitability; like a George Osborne cut-back, a James Corden punchline or US diplomacy involving guns.
Ironically, long before his diagnosis, many had assumed that Mr. Sheen’s predilection for prostitutes and porn stars was the main contributor to the world becoming immune to anti-biotics. One other unpleasant by-product of the situation is that everyone is now acting like a smug soothsayer or your disappointed school teacher who discovers you stacking shelves in Tesco.
A colleague said: ‘Nobody would wish a disease on anyone, but there is a sense that Charlie tweaked the nose of providence, laughed in the face of fate and kicked destiny in the balls. Saying that Charlie’s lifestyle choices were not a factor in his catching this infection, would be like saying Siegfried & Roy did nothing to resembl a tiger’s lunch’.
One lesson to be taken from this is that we are not immortal, regardless of how often our lame-arsed comedy shows get commissioned. Unfortunately the young Charlie Sheen never lacked hubris; wearing a copper hat during thunderstorms or poking a hornet’s nest with genitals. Yet tragedy often features a self-fulfilling prophecy; such as George Best’s liver failure, Icarus’ skin cancer or Newcastle FC being Newcastle FC.