The Truth about Goats
A bitter President Obama told the climate: ‘I’m still the fossil-fuel loving guy I’ve always been. But you’ve changed. You keep hitching up your shoreline to attract the attention of environmentalists. You’ve changed your scent from oxygen to primarily carbon. And you’re considerably hotter than when we first started dating.’
Climate is spending more and more time staying back with her Mother (Earth) and rarely looks happy when mankind makes a ‘booty call’. She says she feels restricted by mankind’s demand for an average temperature of 16 C, which rarely takes into account her moods, wind currents or weather conditions. Allegedly she has confided to others how she misses the dinosaurs and that they were a much more considerate lover – even if ‘they had brains the size of a wallnut’.
Others claim that the climate has ‘let herself go’ and has clearly put on weight in terms of landfill. One oil executive complained: ‘I just don’t like her new look. She used to be fun – she’d love me covering her beaches in oil, drilling her deeply and exploring her areas of natural beauty. I liked her deforested, particularly around the Bikini Atoll area’.