Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

UK to remove New Zealand from maps

In response to the proposed referendum on a new state flag, all mention of ‘one particularly ungrateful island’ in the southwestern Pacific Ocean is to be expunged from British textbooks.  Royal cartographers have been instructed to erase all evidence of New Zealand if the Union Jack is dropped; with maps now depicting a garishly coloured aquatic sheep (called ‘Nikora’) floating off the south coast of Australia.

Not helped by the fact that the UK's ex still looks 'way hot'

Not helped by the fact that the UK’s ex still looks ‘way hot’

A Foreign Office spokesman said:  ‘We fully support all nation’s right to self-determination and identity but also reserve to the right to act like a petulant teenager, who has just been dumped.  We’re going to get emotional closure on this.  Need I remind you that the US has been obscured from view by a collection of fuzzy-felt stickers since 1776’?

As ‘break-ups’ go, New Zealand has been accused of pettiness – mocking English rugby prowess, forgetting the Queen’s birthday and ‘deleting’ the Wales from their phone contacts.  Meanwhile the UK has had a history of doomed relationships; with India accusing them of being abusive, Ireland saying they were patronizing and Canada hinting that Brits ‘were crap in bed’.

Admittedly the Queen has not been ‘exclusive’ in her geographical attentions, often unfavourably labelled ‘saucy Liz’ for her fondling of 53 Commonwealth ‘members’.  New Zealanders have naturally responded by toning down their British past, embracing dental hygiene, driving on the right and ‘not slapping their brand on a third of the world like a megalomaniac Apple executive!’


2 comments on “UK to remove New Zealand from maps

  1. Inchcock
    January 20, 2016

    I like it! TTFN


  2. Wrenfoe
    January 20, 2016



Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on January 20, 2016 by in International News and tagged , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,610 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,237 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: