Robert Downey Jr pardoned for 20-years of bland movies
Civil rights campaigners and film critics alike were last night celebrating the expunging of Mr. Downey Jr’s dubious cinematic CV. No longer will it have reference to the pig’s ear he made of The Singing Detective, at last freeing Mr. Downey to make ‘Iron Man 9 – Return to Oz’.
Previously, on the advice of his agent, Mr. Downy had chosen to be arrested on multiple drug and gun crimes in an attempt to seem vaguely interesting. This subsequently led to a series of harrowing ‘non-incarcerations’, which are testimony to the rough justice meated-out to white millionaires.
In recent years he has spent much of his time trying to make Benedict Cumberbatch look like the only plausible Sherlock Holmes. Yet in 1992 he was nominated for an Academy Award for being the only person to stay wake through the whole of ‘Chaplin’.
California Governor Jerry Brown has said that one of the highest grossing and symmetrical actors of recent years should not be held accountable for past criminality or ‘Two Girls One Guy’. One fan remarked: ‘Who knew that ‘Weird Science’ would be his most challenging role? I’d completely forgotten he was a criminal…let alone an actor’.