The Truth about Goats
Fans of Hitler and the Harry Potter franchise will be pleased to hear that everyone’s favourite political manifesto is to be given a judicious edit in time for the Christmas sales. A new version of Mein Kampf will be hitting our bookshelves with a fetching dust jacket featuring festive images, family-friendly pop-up swastikas and a colouring-in section; although readers are warned that the range of colours are ‘somewhat limited’.
The publisher explained: ‘The original version was rather cliché – Boy meets girl. Boy annexes Austria. Boy shoots girl in the head in a bunker. And the section about a thousand year Reich is a bit of a downer. The update will feel far more contemporary; like Bridget Jones’ Diary but with less reference to a super-race of men that look like Colin Firth’.
One fan of the original gushed: ‘It’s one of my all-time favourites – along with anything by Katie Price. The excitement of first going to Narnia is so vivid. Who didn’t cry when Dumbledore died? I just hope they cut out that boring end part about him going back to The Shire. Nazis? Nope, don’t remember any reference to them. Are you sure you’re not confused with Pride and Prejudice?’
As yet there are no plans for a sequel but the publisher is ‘waiting to see’ how things turn out in Syria. He said: ‘We were looking into selling the film rights but apparently there has already been one or two films about Hitler. And as yet we will not be producing a Kindle version as it sounds a tad Yiddish. But what we can promise is it will be less sinister than ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, more upbeat than ‘Twilight’ and longer than ‘the Diary of Anne Frank’.’