The Truth about Goats
In a surprise plot twist the Republican front-runner has revealed a symbiotic relationship with the news corporation; shortly before chopping off Megyn Kelly’s hand and ‘throwing her down an abyss’. Having spent so long looking for a Republican father figure, Fox had never considered the possibility that Trump was Anakin Skywalker but with an irrational fear of Islamic Ewoks.
In a perfect example of ‘be careful what you wish for’, Fox has spent decades pining for a demagogue with his own Manhattan Death Star – only to get far more than they bargained for. Fox had initially welcomed the strangely coiffured maverick to the political scene, with his brand of popular racism – but maybe forgot how that turned out for ‘1930’s Germany’. Having spent so long demonizing President Obama, Fox admitted to being shocked to discover what a real demon acts like.
Fox was warned repeatedly not to let Trump over the threshold but, ignoring the advice of Ben Kenobi, they said ‘Trump’ three times and opened a portal to the dark-side. One politician commented: ‘ This is what you get by stifling free speech, lowering journalistic standards and being owned by an Emperor Palpatine wannabe. If you keep playing the bigotry card long enough you end up with the Trump card. Basically, Fox got out-foxed’.
Trump’s has said that his refusal to participate in a TV debate is the first of many acts of defiance; including ignoring all questions or facts that he does not like and only being voiced by James Earl Jones. He has threatened to use the media on his terms – which means a new series of ‘The Apprentice’, no more snide comments about comb-overs and unlimited creepiness talking about how shaggable Princess Leia is.