The Truth about Goats
While headlines have been dominated by New Hampshire opting for Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump, citizens of Winchester have been critical of the US electorate. One voter complained: ‘Why should New Hampshire be trusted to nominate candidates? They couldn’t even come up with an original name for their state. We’ve got Alfred the Great and two thousand years of history, they’ve got Adam Sandler and a tonne of maple syrup’,
Many political observers have suggested that Old Hampshire, by electing Pitt, is out-of-touch with the contemporary candidates and may not ‘have noticed’ the War of American Independence. However one irate Portsmouth resident pointed out: ‘If the American electorate cannot find a serious candidate, then it behoves us to take over. They’ve had their little experiment with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness; but clearly it’s not working’.
One US voter admitted: ‘The similarities between Pitt and Trump are striking. Both have hair that defies belief, a glazed expression and will fill the White House with lingering smell of death. Ironically Pittsburgh is the arse-end of nowhere, while Trump Towers has no end of arse’.