The Truth about Goats
Although ‘Joey’ from Friends is set to join the new cast of Top Gear, ‘Ugly Naked Clarkson’ has ruled out a return to the BBC’s flagship motoring programme. The acquisition of Matt LeBlanc is particularly a coup for his agent Estelle Leonard, given that she died in the last season of the ‘Friends’ boxset.
Meanwhile Clarkson has signed an exclusive £160million deal with Amazon, with his co-presenters James ‘Smelly Cat’ May and a faeces-throwing monkey – Marcel Hammond. Although all three are seen as relatively minor comic characters in comparison to ‘Joey’, they can claim to have perfected Janice’s irritating nasal whine – ‘Ohhh—myyy—Gawd, a Toyota Yaris!’.
Chris Evans will now have the dilemma of which main ‘Friends’ character to imitate alongside the ever popular ‘Joey’; although from behind many say he is a ‘dead ringer’ for Jennifer Aniston. By contrast ‘Ugly Naked Clarkson’, despite being a re-occurring character in ‘Top Gear’, could not shift his reputation for being a morbidly obese hermit from Chipping Norton.
However fans of ‘Friends’ still say that one of the best episodes was when ‘Ugly Naked Clarkson’ punched the pizza delivery boy for being late and demanded ‘Gunther’ be deported to Holland. A spokeswoman the BBC said: ‘We’d rather our Top Gear presenters not hurl racist insults at our guests and just ask ‘How you doin’?’