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The Truth about Goats

UK economy now based on your sweet tooth

Having failed to meet any of his budgetary targets the Chancellor, George Osborne, has taken the radical decision to peg the British currency to our fluctuating ‘munchies’.  Mr. Osborne is … Continue reading

March 31, 2016 · Leave a comment

Donald Trump endorses assisted ‘political suicide’ for his opponents

In what some are describing as a ‘mercy killing’ and others as ‘natural selection’; one by one, Republican candidates are falling on their swords or discovering a Trump™ branded dagger … Continue reading

March 30, 2016 · Leave a comment

Police warn IDS ‘on the loose’

‏ A national manhunt is underway for a man the security forces have described as a threat to livestock and the disabled.  Escaped from pro-EU captivity, Iain Duncan Smith (IDS) … Continue reading

March 29, 2016 · Leave a comment

Child finds Jesus in her Kinder Surprise™

After a culmination of generations of messianic prophecies and the consumption of millions of Easter eggs, the Second Coming has at last been triggered by toddler from Fleet, Hampshire.  Vatican … Continue reading

March 28, 2016 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘And if you wait another 5000 years you’ll be able to get a decent signal out here; now get off my ancient monument!’

WINNER: ‘And if you wait another 5000 years you’ll be able to get a decent signal out here; now get off my ancient monument!’ (from Paul Millington) This month’s photo come … Continue reading

March 27, 2016 · 1 Comment

League agrees to cap Aston Villa at 30 points‏

Alongside their decision to limit the cost of away tickets next season, football club owners have proposed a plan to ‘once and for all’ rid the Premiership of the ‘embarrassment’ … Continue reading

March 24, 2016 · Leave a comment

George Martin dies, yet Kanye West still lives.‏

Proving that God has no ear for music but has a firm grasp of irony, George Martin has passed away at the age of 90.   Yet as the world mourns … Continue reading

March 23, 2016 · Leave a comment

Syrian truce leads to outbreak of football

‘They walked out across no-man’s land, clutching white flags, ḥalāl footballs and burkas for goalposts’.  These are the reports coming out of Syria of a ‘friendly’ match between ‘Kurdish Militants … Continue reading

March 22, 2016 · Leave a comment

Liam Payne ‘groomed’ by Geordie housewife

Social services and teenage fan-sites have expressed concern over rumours that members of ‘One Direction’ may have fallen foul of a ‘talent ring’, whose sole purpose was to groom and … Continue reading

March 21, 2016 · 3 Comments

Reformation (play script)

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