The Truth about Goats
With all the predictive powers of a magic eight-ball, the Secretary of State for Justice has given his full support and success-rate behind a ‘Brexit’. Having previously solved all problems that exist in schools and prisons, campaigners for an EU-exit are confident that the Gove-factor can deliver the same genius that made hydrogen airships today’s ‘vehicle of choice’.
Michael Gove has an unimpeachable track-record of endorsing the right option; be it smearing people through social media, helping to radicalize faith schools or choosing ‘New Coke’ over regular. Likewise as a long term employee of News International, Mr. Gove resolutely opposed freedom of information unless of course it related to someone’s phone messages.
Always on the right side of any argument, Mr. Gove has proudly supported Tory manifestos, dismantling the NHS and the making of ‘The adventures of Pluto Nash’. Indeed, no one can question his judgment in claiming tens of thousands of pounds by manipulating his parliamentary housing and expenses claims.
Those UK citizens who were undecided about EU membership will be able to use Mr. Gove as a moral compass, or at least as a xenophobic SatNav. As one friend commented: ‘Michael has all the gut instinct of someone with irritable bowel syndrome. He a great fellow but he has the unswerving self-belief of someone administering a frontal lobotomy’.