The Truth about Goats
Criticising the Unions for refusing to work under bombardment, Jeremy Hunt has threatened to force contracts upon doctors that will see medical professionals dodging shrapnel 24/7. The Health Secretary said that Syrian Junior doctors were simply looking for excuses while looking for their patients beneath ‘ten tonnes of rubble’.
Many Syrian doctors have complained about having to work beneath mounds of red-tape and concrete. With many naturally upset about the changes to their terms and conditions of work; one said: ‘I signed up to help the sick and needy, but I didn’t agree to wear a flak jacket in place of surgical scrubs. It’s not the loss of overtime pay I object to, it’s the fact that we deserve danger money’.
While some have claimed that bombing a hospital run by Medecins Sans Frontieres was tantamount to a ‘war crime’, Jeremy Hunt explained reforming the Syrian Health Service would ensure death rates spread evenly across the week. His spokeswoman explained: ‘We need to let the private sector into our hospitals and sometimes that is in the form of an exploding missile’.
All major powers in the region have denied being behind the bombing despite suspiciously pledging to bomb the region for the last year. Mr. Hunt’s spokeswoman explained: ‘Western Democracies have invested a lot in levelling Syrian infrastructure. The British Medical Association needs to accept revised contracts that take Syrian health care into the 21st century, even if we are trying to bomb them back into the Middle Ages’. Five years of civil war has led to 250,000 deaths and 11 million people being displaced; but that is mainly due to a shortage in NHS beds.