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Donald Trump endorses assisted ‘political suicide’ for his opponents


In what some are describing as a ‘mercy killing’ and others as ‘natural selection’; one by one, Republican candidates are falling on their swords or discovering a Trump™ branded dagger in their back.  It seems that while Mr. Trump is immune to an overdose of incompetence, others have succumbed to lethal of cocktail of right-wing politics or have been quietly euthanized – like Jed Bush.

Box-with-writing-and-shadow

Assisted political suicide is already legal in California, ever since Arnie ‘banged the maid’.  However more and more politicians throughout America are choosing to self-administer a ‘red hot poker’ – Edward II style.  By contrast, in the UK, Labour’s backbenchers have been trying for months now to put a pillow over Jeremy Corbyn’s face.  Ironically his predecessor, Ed Miliband, was initially assumed to have been a suicide but in retrospect it is thought that the ‘Ed Stone’ was just elaborate cry for help.

Inevitably ‘Political Suicide – The Donald Trump Edition’ has been released as a card game, encapsulating all of Mr. Trump’s political acumen and moral ambiguity.  Despite being a game for just 2-4 players, like the real Presidential election it can be watched in horror by 200 million eligible voters.  ‘Political Suicide’ is a ‘Kickstarter’ project and, similar to ‘Trump’s Wall’, the manufacturers are hoping the Mexicans will pay for it.

Some are concerned that Mr. Trump, by encouraging political suicides, may be on a ‘slippery slope’ ethically or in other words ‘the road to the Whitehouse’.  Either way Ted Cruz will be given the choice between some ‘pills left over by Bill Cosby’ or a natural death – otherwise known as a ‘Nick Clegg’.

(Political Suicide is available to download here – or can be watched for real over the coming months.  Please note that if Trump wins, none of this may seem particularly funny.)

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