The Truth about Goats
In what some are describing as a ‘mercy killing’ and others as ‘natural selection’; one by one, Republican candidates are falling on their swords or discovering a Trump™ branded dagger in their back. It seems that while Mr. Trump is immune to an overdose of incompetence, others have succumbed to lethal of cocktail of right-wing politics or have been quietly euthanized – like Jed Bush.
Assisted political suicide is already legal in California, ever since Arnie ‘banged the maid’. However more and more politicians throughout America are choosing to self-administer a ‘red hot poker’ – Edward II style. By contrast, in the UK, Labour’s backbenchers have been trying for months now to put a pillow over Jeremy Corbyn’s face. Ironically his predecessor, Ed Miliband, was initially assumed to have been a suicide but in retrospect it is thought that the ‘Ed Stone’ was just elaborate cry for help.
Inevitably ‘Political Suicide – The Donald Trump Edition’ has been released as a card game, encapsulating all of Mr. Trump’s political acumen and moral ambiguity. Despite being a game for just 2-4 players, like the real Presidential election it can be watched in horror by 200 million eligible voters. ‘Political Suicide’ is a ‘Kickstarter’ project and, similar to ‘Trump’s Wall’, the manufacturers are hoping the Mexicans will pay for it.
Some are concerned that Mr. Trump, by encouraging political suicides, may be on a ‘slippery slope’ ethically or in other words ‘the road to the Whitehouse’. Either way Ted Cruz will be given the choice between some ‘pills left over by Bill Cosby’ or a natural death – otherwise known as a ‘Nick Clegg’.
(Political Suicide is available to download here – or can be watched for real over the coming months. Please note that if Trump wins, none of this may seem particularly funny.)