The Truth about Goats
Even though the actual Presidential race does not start until ‘f@$king July’, the world’s press continue to obsess about a series of primary contests that bear almost no relationship to the actual voting pattern of the US electorate. Despite tragic scenes emerging from Belgium, the world’s media still managed to fixate on the minutia of Donald Trump’s crazy immigration policy, crazy foreign policy and eminently sane attempts to have sex with his own daughter.
You might think the chaos in Syria or further terrorism by I.S. would dominate the news cycle, but not if there is a chance to cover a ‘bloviated narcissist’ who plagiarizes Mussolini. Instead we are forced to care about the choice between Ted Cruz or Trump – which mirrors the choice between Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s, in that both are signs of severe impairment judgment and will reach a point where assisted suicide seems the only logical way out.
So, as Europe reels from another atrocity, those reading the European press are forced to care about how ‘border-security’ plays as an issue in Arizona. A spokesman for Interpol explained: ‘We often hear the phrase never-ending ‘cycle of violence’ in relation to religion but that pales into insignificance next to the perpetual US pre-election process. Things in Belgium may be bad right now but spare a thought for those US voters stuck in an interminable spiral of fraudulence’.
Ironically the Economist Intelligence Unit (research firm) now ranks Trump as a greater risk to world security than Jihadists. The knock on effect is that I.S. can now be legitimately concerned that Trump will steal their share of the media market. Bombing Brussels may now be a less effective tool in global terror than having your own reality show, your own brand of steak and ‘hair that defies belief’.