The Truth about Goats
In what is being described as ‘a race to the bottom’ in terms of public opinion, Panamanian accountants have attempted to distance themselves with any connection with FIFA. While admitting that their reputation is currently on par with ‘the spawn of Satan’, they have said that any link with football’s governing body is a step too far and would tantamount to a ‘Trump endorsement’.
With over 200,000 companies registered in British protectorates implicated in the scandal, George Osborne’s claim that we are all in austerity ‘together’ appears less than accurate; unless he was suggesting that we are all in an elaborate tax avoidance scheme together. Likewise Panama’s claim to solve the problem with the creation of a ‘panel of experts’ is like saying we can solve chicken murders by appointing a ‘quorum of foxes’.
Swiss police, in an act of ‘Blatter déjà vu’, have once more raided UEFA offices; with football corruption becoming as predictable as the changing seasons, an Arsenal false dawn or a Louis Van Gaal excuse. The only area of criminality that FIFA have not been linked to is ‘crimes against humanity’ and with Jose Mourinho looking for a new job, it’s only a matter of time.
This association with FIFA is putting increased pressure on the world’s offshore financial industry or ‘smugglers’ as we used call them. One disappointed fraudster complained: ‘Embezzlement used to about amateurs excelling but now professional sport has ruined the purity of tax havens. It’s like be tarred with the same brush as Jimmy Savile, Fred West or James Corden’s agent’.