The Truth about Goats
Having exhausted all conventional medicines in repairing the NHS, junior doctors have decided to embark upon another meaningless industrial action to solve the nation’s ills. Despite resorting to a fake remedy, doctors insist that it will still have the same psychological affect as shoving a ‘chilli-infused suppository’ up Jeremy Hunt.
Medical experts are divided on the impact of sham surgery but agree that it can not be worse than the imaginary funding that the NHS has been given in recent years. As one doctor explained: ‘Obviously there are some ethical issues related to bringing deception and dishonesty into the doctor-patient relationship, but if it’s good enough for the Secretary of State for Health…’
Other Unions may be tempted to adopt similar tactics; with teachers to fake mark, train drivers to ignore timetables and firemen to deny a second income – so basically no change to any them. The Government has also threatened to react with false alarm, apocryphal data and a bogus sense of moral superiority.
A BMA spokeswoman said: ‘ Strike action is notoriously unreliable and unpredictable, but so is a Junior Doctor functioning on three hours sleep. Fortunately all our clinical trials are double-blinded – meaning we also have no f@cking idea what the outcome will be’.