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The Truth about Goats

Call for ministers to offer 24/7 dumb-fuckery

While legitimate concerns have been raised about NHS weekend provision, many are now demanding that the Cabinet spreads its incompetence more evenly over the week.  Data suggests a sharp decline in moronic decisions from Saturday to Sunday, leading to unsustainable levels of happiness throughout the nation and the accusation that the Government are ‘part-time f@ckwits’.

So dumb it hurts

So dumb it hurts

Those in need of dozy governance on weekends have often been forced to look for imbecilic private contractors to fill the gap; such as G4S or the Chuckle Brothers.  This is despite MPs having taken the Hypocritical Oath ‘to do no discernible good’; which is followed by induction training in embezzlement, perversion and lethargy.

One concerned voter demanded more purveyors of the asinine: ‘To be half-baked is a full-time pursuit.  Too many people are surviving the weekend without ministerial mishaps, which is unacceptable when David Cameron has a Cabinet packed with dullards.  Constituents should expect round the clock failure or at very least a Boris Johnson bed-bath’.

Jeremy Hunt, particularly, has drawn stinging criticism for only providing partial stupidity and of delegating serious moments of ineptitude to junior officials or a faeces-hurling chimp, called Gove.  While privately, friends of the Secretary of State attest to him only being ‘a tw@t on weekdays.’


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This entry was posted on May 4, 2016 by in UK Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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