Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Team GB reveals how ‘super hot’ they are


Disguised under the pretext of a kit launch, Britain’s athletes took time out of their busy schedule – of avoiding drug tests – to show off more bulging pectorals than a Zac Efron calendar.  Oiled like David Cameron speech, Team GB flaunted their toned physiques and their inability to retain fat.

Phwoar!

Phwoar!

Designed by Stella McCartney and various online fantasies, models Jessica Ennis-Hill and Tom Daley gave the waiting press a ‘look at the good stuff’.  While a lascivious photographer commented: ‘Did you see her abs? It looked like a sack of kittens. Writhing lumps of pure athleticism – with a hint of pussy’.

The red, white and blue kit allegedly features the British coat of arms, but the main focus of the press was on whether they could ‘spot a nipple’.  One editor defended his position:  ‘Obviously we’re here to support sporting endeavour but it never hurts if we can add to the w@nk bank.  And it isn’t objectifying athletes to suggest that no one misses Beth Tweddle’.

Team GB is expecting to increase their medal tally in Rio, along with internet searches for ‘Daley in the buff’.  A team coach explained: ‘It’s about raising the profile of British shagability.  Anyone can run fast, but not everyone can wear skin-tight synthetic fabric and look good.  We’ve just got to be wary of injuries – mainly wrist related among the viewing public’.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on May 10, 2016 by in UK Sports and tagged , , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 549 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 35,282 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: