CIA criticised for ‘sexting’ Bin Laden
Having provoked outrage by live-tweeting the killing of Osama Bin Laden, the CIA have now had to apologise for series of explicit ‘d@$k pics’ from the early 80s – when the US was still dating the terrorist leader. The steamy exchange between CIA headquarters in Langley and the mujahedeen, show agents posing beside their $630 million annual payment to Afghan warlords and a naked Jennifer Lawrence.
F is for fuckbuddy
Child Protection agencies have said the CIA could leave themselves open to ‘sextortion’ and future embarrassment if they ever want to get into bed with terrorists again. A friend commented: ‘It’s all very well tweeting about your messy break-up, but we can all see they’ve not updated their Facebook status from ‘We ♥ the Taliban’.
Sharing explicit details of their mission from five years ago, the CIA go into graphic detail about getting ‘down and dirty in Pakistan’. Bin Laden is the focus of several jibes, although it is somewhat undermined by an Instagram image of him provocatively licking a U.S.-built Stinger antiaircraft missile.
The CIA insists they will continue to use any weapon against the fight on terror, including ‘revenge porn’ and tweeting Osama’s love poems. A spokeswoman said: ‘By the time we’ve finished with Mr. Bin Laden, his name will be mud. We’re like Taylor Swift with access to Black Ops. And we’re so over dating bad boys…oh, have you met our new beau, Jundallah?’