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‘Batman v Super-gonorrhoea’


Having gone head to head with Spiderman, the Caped Crusader is set to do battle with the latest super-villain – a sexually transmitted infection, in 3D!  Action-packed sequences of puss-like discharge will soon cover cinema screens, as the new superbug continues to spread; with only Batman and a strong course of antibiotics to prevent him.

The Bat Signal

The Bat Signal

Some fans have complained that ‘Super Gonorrhoea’ makes no appearance in any of the original DC Comics, other than an oblique reference to the Hulk having ‘a burning sensation during urination’.  Yet, film executives have said that a STD based character was inevitable given the propensity of so many ‘bareback’ superheroes such as the Invisible Man.

Cynics have suggested that by adding a porn theme DC Entertainment are pandering to internet engines and product placement; citing their future franchise -‘Man of Steel v iphone 7’.  Such cynical character combinations certainly reached a nadir recently with ‘Iron Man 7: The search for naked Jennifer Lawrence selfies’.

‘Super Gonorrhoea’ will have an evil side-kick – Jeremy Hunt, whose own super-power involves ‘cuts to health funding’.  One Doctor commented:  ‘Our last line of defence, Azithromycin, has already been defeated; while Wonder Woman has fallen foul of a lascivious Superman, cheap cider and a bout of Chlamydia.  But provided Batman stays Caped, he should be okay’.

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