The Truth about Goats
Having predicted an escalation in referenda should he not get his way on EU membership, the UKIP leader has threatened to make Jesus descend from Heaven to sort out the mess. Mr. Farage, channelling both God and several pints of Holy Spirit, said that there would be an ‘unstoppable’ demand for a re-run Christ’s life or at very least an ‘in/out’ debate on Heaven.
Despite the Son of God having promised that coming to Earth was a ‘once in a lifetime’ event, a close EU vote could easily trigger either a Second Coming, Scottish Independence or a change to when the recycling bins get emptied. While, in true prophetic fashion, Mr. Farage predicted a plague of frogs swarming across the Channel – although many criticised him for being blatantly Francophobic.
Seventh-day Adventists say ‘the righteous dead will be resurrected…along with Common Market’. Mormon scriptures warn that it will be a: ‘fearful, mournful time for the wicked – but only those in Strasbourg’. While Jehovah’s Witnesses talk of Armageddon – which is simply a metaphor for more referenda.
Some are naturally concerned by a never-ending cycle of referenda; which will become less about democracy in action and more like nominating a soup-of-the-day. One voter complained: ‘This making us all look fickle; impulsively flitting between issues like we were