The Truth about Goats
In a surprise announcement, campaigners for ‘Cosby 2016’ have admitted that their candidate may now be too inappropriate to run for office. Up until recently accusations of Cosby’s sexual misdeeds had put him neck and neck with every other dreadful nominee, but his imminent trial for assault has made him ‘slightly less’ palatable than Trump or Clinton.
While other Presidential candidates have wallowed in bigotry, corruption and incompetence, Bill Cosby stood above his peers as a popular – although slightly flawed – sexual predator. One fan commented: ‘Yes, Mr. Cosby was a fake TV doctor. But seven fictitious years at medical school are more real than anything Trump has said or done’.
Mr. Cosby’s withdrawal now leaves the field open for Democratic and Republican front-runners, or any other ‘bag of crazy’ the US populace want to elect. Many had hoped he would unify the nation behind a single creepy father-figure, while others think it might nice to do something different for a change.
Sadly, there is still a proportion of the voters who would rather feel the real grip of Dr. Huxtable than experience Dr. Ben Carson’s grip on reality. One journalist commented: ‘Ironically it’s going to take a whole lot of Quaaludes for Hilary or Donald to get the nation to vote for them’.