Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

We’ll all be bummed by space monkeys – warns Farage‏

UKIPs leader has unveiled a stark vision of continued EU membership which involves being impregnated by alien simians and being force fed spicy food. Mr. Farage, standing beneath the logo – ‘Brexit is a safe word’, painted a post-apocalyptic vision of sexual molestation, so obscene, that it would make a BBC Radio DJ blush.

An EU orgy

An EU orgy

In the ‘Sunday Telegraph’ Mr. Farage spoke at length of his dual fears of EU legislation and having to play spin the bottle with the entire population of Turkey. He explained, with the aid of doll, how that staying in the EU was tantamount to consensual rape; advising that we should be prepared to lock up our daughters and ‘never’ drop the soap in front of Angela Merkel.

He warned that rivers of blood could soon be followed by ‘streams of spunk’. A UKIP spokeswoman confirmed: ‘You’ve heard of the economic migrant? Well, worse still is the horny migrant. He’s the sort that’ll come over here to sit upstream in Thames releasing thousands of salmon-sized sperm, each capable of tickling a fully grown Nun’.

He went on to advise the British public to hide in the nearest Anderson Shelter, wrapped inside a prophylactic sheath; while claiming that we should cover exposed piano legs and any attractive livestock. The spokesman said: ‘Rapey is what rapey does. These Europeans are just coming over here to steal our women and pillage Anglo-Saxon settlements…although I might be confused with last series of Vikings’.


Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on June 20, 2016 by in UK Politics and tagged , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,617 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,681 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: