The Truth about Goats
While Andrea Leadsom surrenders to Theresa May for the role of ‘Mrs Trunchbull’, the ex-shadow minister and ex-Labour supporter, Angela Eagle, is hoping to unite her party behind Jeremy Corbyn…by standing against Jeremy Corbyn. While all three ladies, intend to prove that women can be just as reviled in a top job as their bumbling male equivalent.
Lucrezia Borgia, Paris Hilton and Dora the Explorer- all names synonymous with unpopularity. Yet these MPs, having eclipsed the likes of Michael Gove, have a talent for attracting online derision; like the political equivalent of Kardashian-revenge porn. Their potential victories would simultaneously be both a breakthrough for feminism and misogyny – proving there is no glass ceiling on stupidity.
Meantime, Eagles has been busy wooing left-wingers with her voting record in favour of bombing and her absolute opposition to any investigation or indictment of Tony Blair. Said one retired serviceman: ‘It was Angela who convinced me that what our soldiers need is another catastrophic conflict, with no equipment and no end in sight – now that’s leadership’.
Ironically Tory contender, Leadsom, had attempted to open a lead over her childless opponents, only for it to be leaked that she had in fact ‘eaten her young’ during a hedge-fund frenzy. Sadly Angela Eagle has promised ‘to heal Labour’ by rubbing salt in its wound – followed by chilli powder, powdered glass and a dose of the Zika virus.