The Truth about Goats
As the Blairite-wing of the Labour Party continues to condemn their leader for ‘someone else’s sh@t’, the list of accusations against Mr. Corbyn now includes Brexit, anti-Semitism and sinking of the Lusitania. So keen are they to see him resign before the incendiary Chillcot report, they are willing to charge him with the Fall of the Roman Empire and ‘putting the bomp’ in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-bomp.
One Blairite complained: ‘Tony Blair’s legacy will be besmirched if Corbyn stays on….admittedly Tony did a pretty good job of besmirching that himself, but that’s besmirching for you – once you’re covered in smirch it’s really hard to get that stuff off. Of all the stubborn stains, smirch is the worst. Tony was lousy with smirch. Smirch on his hands. Smirch all over his grin. Sticky and smirchy in all his intimate areas – including Alistair Campbell’.
Political consultants at Portland Communications have even released a statements accusing Corbyn of terrorist sympathies, membership of Khmer Rouge (or ‘Old’ Labour as they call it) and the assassination of Franz Ferdinand. They have also hired hecklers to lambast Corbyn at rallies with pithy questions like: ‘Where were you during the Permian-Triassic period when Gamma radiation destroyed 90% of marine life?’
This leaves Mr. Corbyn in the unenviable position of having to defend his role in the Crusades, 9/11 and Freddy Got Fingered. A spokesman said: ‘None of this had anything to do with Jeremy. The only thing he’s done is win the majority of votes in every election – or as the Daily Telegraph report it – ‘Corbyn shot Bambi’s Mum”.