The Truth about Goats
Having consulted with his wife and his conscience (or Rupert Murdoch as it is known), the Justice Secretary has nominated himself as the perfect replacement for Chris Evans – offering change, the academization of Richard Hammond and Boris as ‘Stig of the dump’. Mr. Gove insisted he had never wanted to become a Top Gear host but he owed it to the country to make the case for ‘no EU-reasonably priced cars’.
Previous hosts of Top Gear had been forced to resign amid allegations of casual racism, harassment and abuse – making Nigel Farage a more obvious successor some would say. Meanwhile Mr. Gove has said he has reservations about working alongside an economic migrant like Matt Le Blanc; who sounds a ‘bit too French’ but Mr. Gove did at least approve of the sentiment behind the name.
Mr. Gove went onto explain that the £350m originally earmarked for the NHS, would now be squandered on a series of super-cars and lavish road-trips. Asked why he had now surrendered his dream to become PM a spokesman said: ‘Michael’s vision is to take Top Gear out of the BBC. Admittedly he has no plan on how to do this and it will ruin the show – but we are all tired of experts, right?’
Twitter has already reacted to this high profile resignation; one user wrote: ‘He was annoying little pr@ck, with a face you wanted to punch. He lacked the blokey charm of Clarkson, was as unfunny as piles and reeked of money. What do you mean Chris Evans has resigned? I was talking about Cameron’.