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North Korea to take UK’s EU spot


Leaders of European Community have reacted swiftly to Brexit news; planning to fill the void with a someone a little less ‘picky’ about concepts of democracy and who is rarely troubled by migrants.  North Korea offers the perfect solution as a totalitarian state willing to take Eurovision seriously and happy to use the French phrase ‘American Imperialist Pigdog’.

Isle of Man

Isle of Man

Meanwhile Kim Jong Un has promised his nation will provide all of the qualities of the British – bad dental work, weak tea and an embarrassing colonial past.  A Korean official commented: ‘Unlike the Brits we won’t complain about EU bureaucrats…or complain about anything really – or so says Glorious Supreme Leader Jean-Claude Juncker, may he forever shine upon us’.

Admittedly Pyongyang is some distance from the continent but it is no more remote than the Isle of Man – yet more liberal, with more working traffic lights and better WiFi coverage.  While to celebrate the inauguration into the EU, 20,000 Korean children will hold up large coloured cards depicting the EU flag and words ‘Farage is a South Korean ball-muncher’.

Ironically many UK citizens fear their own country post-Brexit will resemble North Korea – with over-crowded prison camps, synchronised lifestyles and Jeremy Corbyn – a communist too powerful to get rid of.  One EU Leader remarked: ‘North Korea offers us so much.  28 state approved haircuts – twice as many as the Brits.  3 state approved TV channels – and none featuring James Corden.  And one ruler – as opposed to the hydra-headed-cluster-f@ck that is the Tory leadership race’.

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3 comments on “North Korea to take UK’s EU spot

  1. sarahbruso
    July 27, 2016

    I feel bad for Ukraine, but North Korea was obviously the better pick. The EU could use a little help in the nuke department, and I think North Korea’s progressive Sea of Fire policy will do just the trick. Watch out, Russia.

  2. sarahbruso
    July 27, 2016

    I feel bad for Ukraine, but I think North Korea was obviously the better choice. The EU could use a little help in the nukes department, and North Korea’s progressive Sea of Fire policy will do just the trick. Watch out, Russia.

    • Wrenfoe
      July 27, 2016

      Lol.

      I’m still not sure if it’s a poisoned chalice or a holy grail to get the spare spot

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This entry was posted on July 21, 2016 by in International News and tagged , , , , , , .

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