The Truth about Goats
Having insinuated that the U.S. was behind the failed coup in Istanbul, President Erdogan has now accused Labour’s back-benchers of masterminding ‘another in a long line of cock ups’. While Angela Eagle and other leadership candidates have denied involvement, the sheer incompetence and unnecessary bloodshed have all the hall-marks of a Hilary Benn speech.
One Turkish politician explained: ‘It started with a window being broken. Admittedly it did transpire that the window didn’t actually belong to Angela Eagle – but that’s never stopped her before. There then followed a spontaneous mutiny – which admittedly had been planned weeks in advance – but that’s never stopped her before’.
Embarrassingly some Labour MPs had been caught registering web domains celebrating the coup, advertising time-shares in Bodrum and offering ‘Turkish delight and hot chocolate’ to anyone willing to depose Jeremy Corbyn. By contrast Jon Trickett, Labour’s election coordinator, has already apologized for a tweet comparing coups; as the analogy would only work if Mr. Erdogan was popular.
Oliver Stone is already planning a documentary detailing other failed Labour coups; including the Bay of Pigs invasion, Paul Rodgers joining Queen and Little Chef capturing Happy Eater. A spokesman for Angela Eagle said: ‘It’s inappropriate to compare sinister right-wing war-criminals taking over media outlets with what is happening in Turkey’.