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The Truth about Goats

Pokéy Grindr sweeps the nation

Hot on the heels of the augmented realty success Pokémon GO, a new dating-app is allowing amorous singletons to locate the whereabouts of horny anime characters. Described a ‘geosocial f@ckfest’, the game lets you swipe between lubricated pocket monsters and then hunt them down for ‘no-strings-attached’ consensual poking.

Which one do you want licking your pokey ball?

Which one do you want licking your pokey ball?

There are more than 700 creatures that inhabit the Pokéy Grindr universe, 27 of which are full time MPs. While in true S&M fashion, the ‘trainers’ can take their captured creature back to a gym/dungeon for hours of fetish fun.

Players have drawn some criticism for inattentively driving while pleasuring Meowth or trespassing on George Michael’s property. Likewise the app has been accused of racial filtering, with search phrases such as ‘nothing with wings or claws’ or ‘not Taylor Swift’.

Compatible with GPS and LGBT, the App allows Pokéy-curious players experience it manga-style for the first time. It is now a familiar sight, seeing players frantically flicking their Pokéy Balls in public in the hope of luring a garishly coloured gimp. Although STD clinics have also been inundated with players complaining of widespread itching – with the tag line Gotta Catch ‘Em All.


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This entry was posted on July 28, 2016 by in UK Science and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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