As a spate of random terrorists pledge their support with jihadist ‘pranks’, many are asking is it worth all this death and destruction just to hang out with the cool kids. Some suggest that ‘National Lampoon’s Caliphate’ may have made fundamentalism see more like a Frat house rather than the extremist Noel’s House Party.
Not everyone is willing to meet the suicide entry criteria, as ‘Chuck’ – an IS spokesman – explained: ‘Anyone can pledge themselves to IS, but they have to pass rigorous tasks including swallowing goldfish, kidnapping a team mascot and raining death upon the infidels of Beta Pi.’
Complained one initiate: ‘Hazing rituals have got so extreme that we’re having to strap bombs to ourselves just to meet forty virgins; or the girls of Delta Kappa Gamma as they’re called.’
Yet many of the fun elements remain, with Togas replaced by niqab parties and beer supplanted with kegs of halal wine. Although distinguished alumna are primarily a list of unidentified body parts smelling of semtex.