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Owen Smith mania reaches frenzy point

Holiday-makers are reporting gridlock on the roads and all forms of coitus have ground to a halt, as people take to the streets in support of Owen Smith.  Despite 75% of Labour voters expressing a preference for his opponent and the remaining 25% having mislaid their ballot paper, a groundswell of public support for Mr. Smith is electrifying the nation – like a tasered testicle.

Loved by young voters

Loved by young voters

Bunting lines the streets, hordes of teenage girls swoon and even the Pope has boasted of touching the man they call Labour’s saviour.  Explained one Owenite: ‘Many people are asking – who is this man of mystery running in the election?  Or maybe they said – it’s a mystery why he’s running.  Either way, voters have Owen Smith on their lips…or it might be a cold sore’.

A social media sensation on ‘Friendsreunited’, Mr Smith is the second gigantic arse to break the internet.  Nothing can stop his propulsion – once it actually begins.  While even John McTernan has endorsed him; with the typical good judgement of someone who encouraged Tony Blair to invade Iraq.

Lately Smith-groupies have packed out anime conventions, in numbers upwards of three, bursting into tears at the mere sight of their idol.  Handmade t-shirts publicly advertise their love with the phrase ‘I’m with stupid’.  While the man himself comes ever closer to sealing victory – by changing his name by deed poll to Jeremy Corbyn.

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This entry was posted on August 10, 2016 by in UK Lifestyle and tagged , , , , , .

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