Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Brexit to coincide with porcine aviation


Theresa May has promised a swift EU exit based on a rapid timetable of animal flight, hens developing teeth or when hell freezes over – whichever comes sooner.  She rejected accusations that she was dragging her kitten heels, claiming she had appointed her swiftness negotiator – Boris Johnson astride glacier.

Counting your Euros...I mean, pennies

Counting your Euros…I mean, pennies

The spokeswoman for the PM said she had committed to a tight schedule ranging from mid-2017, to sometime in the future ‘when mankind leaves its mortal flesh behind and ascends into inter-galactic consciousness’.  At very least the Brexit speed would match the development of Heathrow’s third runway.

Others fear that Mrs May is using a delaying technique, called the ‘Taylor Swift nuptial strategy’.  Full of promise but no pay off, the Government trade discussions are starting to resemble the final series of ‘Lost’, Windows Vista and any season involving Arsenal.

The spokeswoman insisted: ‘Let me assure you, like a French military expedition, we are committed to a hasty withdrawal.  We just need to wait for one or two simple expeditious things to occur – the invention of hover cars, affordable London mortgages and for your husband to finish decorating the spare room’.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on August 24, 2016 by in UK News and tagged , , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 557 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 36,276 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: